At what stage do your 20’s get good?

When I was a teenager I couldn’t wait to be in my twenties, it seemed so exciting and fun. Now at 27 I can confirm that your twenties, sometimes, can be the absolute worst. If you take away from the fact we are all currently living through a global pandemic, dating during your late twenties is not fun. It’s an awkward age. Half of your friends are married, or in long term relationships buying houses and having babies. The second half are on dating apps, getting ghosted on a monthly basis and losing the will to live. I am in the middle, I am neither married nor am I on dating apps.  

This is predominantly due to the fact I genuinely get bored within five minutes of talking to someone online. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I just cannot talk to someone I don’t know and I cannot see. It’s like being back on MSN circa 2005, talking to boys you fancied who you would never meet, or if you did it was super awkward and forced. However, in the current climate this does make dating somewhat difficult. It’s not like we’re actually allowed to talk to people we don’t know and even if we did they can’t get too close. 

So, if we add that into the fact that I have just lost my job, potentially during the worst economic crisis in years, my twenties are going somewhat splendidly. I am fed up with continually feeling like I am 3 miles behind everyone else. I want to be the irritant on Instagram going for walks on a Sunday with their significant other, with the amazing City job that pays upwards of £25K (yeah I’m not even asking for much). Truth is, the older I’m getting the less adult I am feeling. I’ve never been in an adult relationship and my ‘career’ is non-existent. 

Like most teenagers, I thought I would have my life together by this stage; I don’t. I am further ahead than I was two years ago, that goes without saying but I am unemployed, single and winging my way through life. It’s exhausting. It feels strange to moan about such inconsequential things right now with everything going on, but the truth is this is my reality and it’s getting on my tits. I’m not sitting here with blinkers on, thinking those of you in relationships and careers are forever happy, but you’re settled and that is what my life is missing. 

I am comfortable, I have a home, friends and family that I can rely on but I am unsettled. I don’t know where I’ll be in 1 week from now, let alone months from now. Living with that on a day to day basis is beginning to take its toll. I am by no means a planner, but I like to have my days full, routines in place to break up the mundane. Take a job out of the equation and it’s bloody hard, then factor in the fact that you don’t actually know when, or what your next job will be and boom we’re in anxious territory. 

I know I am not the only person feeling this right now, feeling worried and anxious. Overthinking the little things to try and figure out where we’re going wrong. Why can’t we hold relationships down? Why do we always pick the wrong person? When will we find a new job? Will it be the dream job I’ve been waiting on? Who knows – that’s the anxious part. But maybe we should be trying to turn that anxious tension into excitement. We’re going to meet new people, we’re not stuck in a rut because we’re actively working towards where we want to be. Yes, being settled feels great but sometimes being settled means being still. We’re out here trying to figure out our next move, it’s scary but at least we’re moving. 

Here’s to the ‘journey’, we don’t have a clue where we’re going but we’re on our way somewhere. Hopefully it’s not congested along the way, with no parking at the other end.